the best we can

A few months ago, back before Thanksgiving, I went on my first date with an actual human girl. Things were going well. I really felt a connection. This girl and I seemed to be on the same page in a lot of ways. Plus, I discovered there was a whole new side to me that I really enjoyed when I was dating. I was more confident in myself, my identity, my purpose, my convictions.

Then, about a month later, this girl broke it off with me, claiming she wasn’t ready to date again. To be honest, I was at the same place. I was enjoying dating, but I wasn’t ready for anything serious. I wasn’t ready for the type of relationship that would change my entire world, that would shift my priorities, that would take over every little part of my life. I was only just beginning to discover who I was as an individual. So, no hard feelings that this girl wasn’t ready to date, right? We could still be friends after all.

Sadly, that was not the case. It wasn’t long before I noticed this girl not only removed, but also blocked me from all social media sites without explanation. I thought things had ended on good terms; I didn’t realize there was something weird between the two of us. But then, I saw in passing that she was with another guy not long after she broke it off with me.

Needless to say, this left me quite confused. Was it not that she wasn’t ready to date, but that she wasn’t ready to date me? Was there something wrong with me that turned this girl off? Was I too this or too that? I didn’t know. But as soon as I began to think those things, I realized I didn’t really care. Why? Because I know who I am on my own now. I’m confident in myself. And one day I’ll find a girl who will look at me and accept me for my loves while loving me for my strengths. She won’t see the cracks; she’ll see the light that breaks through.

What I learned from all this, though, is…. girls are confusing. And so are guys. To be honest, I think the world is just full of a bunch of confused people trying to figure themselves out and make their way in the world the best that they can. So I can’t get made when people do something that doesn’t make sense to me because in my heart I know that it really isn’t personal in most cases. It’s just human.

We’re all confused. And we’re all confusing. That’s just the way human interaction works. There’s no easy fix or guidebook to figuring out other people. We’re all just doing the best we can. It’s human nature to confound each other. And sometimes, with the right people, that can be beautiful.


1 thought on “the best we can”

  1. YIKESSSS this hit me hard. A few months ago I had a similar thing happen to me, with a guy who also happened to be good friends with me (I thought). We haven’t talked since and it’s very painful, I have to say…and it’s hard not to be lonely, to trust that God had a plan for this, that I’m not the worst and *I* didn’t mess this up by doing something I’m not aware of, all of that.

    Stay strong, dude. Life is confusing but we got this.

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