Yesterday, I had my so-called “man-card” revoked…. Simply because I said real manhood is not defined by whether or not a man likes sports, drinks beer, listens to rock, has a beard, drives a pickup truck, likes to hunt, or is “outdoorsy”.
I was slightly offended. I don’t drink. I don’t sport a beard. I don’t like to hunt. I don’t like pickup trucks. I like musicians like Taylor Swift (sorry, but not really).
But that’s not why I was offended. Not because this guy’s definition of manhood meant that I wasn’t a man, but because this definition extremely devalues what it means to be a real man. The definition of manhood is not confined to one’s interests or hobbies. Manhood is not that shallow.
Manhood is defined by something so much deeper and far more complex. Hobbies and interests does not a real man make; character does.
Real men love their significant other and their children tenderly, affectionately, intimately, and passionately.
Real men are humble. Real men are kind. Real men are patient. Real men can
control themselves. Real men respect women enough that they control their sexual desires. Real men respect all
creatures – human or otherwise. Real men don’t delight in suffering. Real men don’t mock others. Real men are comfortable in their sexuality. Real men understand that our lives are not men to be run by our emotions – emotions are fleeting and as changing as the current. Real men care about others. Real men respect authority. Real men humbly and graciously accept correction or
discipline. Real men understand that actions have consequences. Real men respect themselves enough to be modest in all things. Real men are gentle. Real men are faithful. Real men are honest. Real men are just. Real men are fierce. Real men protect those they care about. Real men aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. Real men are hard workers. Real men follow the rules. Real men understand themselves and others. Real men are compassionate. Real men are independent. Real men know that every person is unique and don’t mock others for their unique personalities.
Character defines a man; not whether or not his interests and hobbies seem
masculine. Masculinity means nothing if ones character is poor.
Men who murder, rape, steal, cheat, lie, are lazy, have no compassion, are disrespectful, etc etc… are not real men. They may like to hunt or drive a pickup truck, but their character is flawed, their manhood is compromised.
Guys, it doesn’t matter if you are a hipster or a redneck. It doesn’t matter if you like hip hop or country. It doesn’t matter if you have a beard or not. It doesn’t matter if you go to bars or not. It doesn’t matter if you drive a Ferrari or a Jeep. It doesn’t matter if you are beefy or thin. It doesn’t matter if you are a lumberjack or a salesman. It doesn’t matter if you like to paint or hunt. Because if you have no character, you have nothing.
So, men of the world, if you’re like me and are tired of being treated like less of a man for liking or doing certain things, know this: those men who mock you and think they’re so much better than you, their character is flawed. But you, you’re character is strong because you stood strong in the face of verbal abuse and emotional torment. You didn’t fight back. You turned the other cheek. You were strong. You were brave.
Your sons and daughters have a real hero on their hands.